


Aftermath

by NoMansWindow2846



Series: Trans characters [3]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coming Out, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Dan, Trans Male Character, supportive suzy is the best suzy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 15:23:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11038935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMansWindow2846/pseuds/NoMansWindow2846
Summary: Dan has to deal with the aftermath of fucking Arin.





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> gonna put trans arin stuff in the series too

When Dan woke, he heard the soft steps of someone moving around the room. Feeling Arin pressed into his side, his stomach bottomed out. Tugging the blanket up past his shoulder, Dan caught a glimpse of Suzy dropping something off in the hamper. When their eyes met, Suzy gave a small wave and smile before leaving and closing the door behind her. After waiting for the steps to fade, Dan rolled out of bed and pulled on some Arin’s clothes, not bothering to sort his clothes out in the hamper. He could do that later, but right now he needed to talk to Suzy about what she may or may not have seen.

Dan found her sitting at the kitchen table looking over something, a mug of tea resting next to the pile. She looked up at the invader, smiling once she realized who it was. “Hey, Dan. Nice to see you up.” Pushing some of the papers aside, she patted the spot next to her, “Come. Sit. Let’s talk.” After watching Dan eye her before sitting, Suzy stood and brought back a cup of tea for him. “So, I wanted to talk about some things.” Dan nodded, staring at the slowly spinning mixture. “I just wanna let you know that I’m okay with this all.”

‘What exactly had she seen?’ “All of this?” Something in his stomach told him that is was about the sex and not him himself, but he pressed anyways. “You mean me?”

Suzy laid a hand on his forearm, eyes soft and accepting. “Of course, I mean you. Is there something else you wanted to talk about?” Without a response, she smiled, continuing her main point. “I just wanted to set up some boundaries.”

Dan stared back her as if she would really kick him out after finding him asleep next to her husband. “Boundaries are good.”

“I’m not opposed to you two fucking here, but a little forewarning would be nice. Just so I don’t walk in or anything. God, that would be awkward.” She breathed out a laugh, but stopped short at the sight of Dan picking at the hem of his shirt. “Is there something bothering you, Dan? Because I’m willing to listen.”

Dan jumped at the words, eyes flicking back to the stairs. “There is and I honestly don’t know if I should talk to you about it. I mean, you weren’t the one I just fucked. So, unless I move in suddenly, I’d rather not talk you about it.”

Moving back, Suzy gave a small nod, “That’s fine. Just so you know, I’m willing to listen to you bitch about whatever you’re dealing with. That’s what friends are for.”

He wanted to tell her everything spiraling in his head, all the doubt and worry that Arin wouldn’t love him anymore, despite what had transpired a few hours ago. That Arin wouldn’t, couldn’t love a transgender man. Instead he chose another doubt that had faded several months ago when he had first started dating Arin. “Does this make me gay?” He knew the answer, he knew Suzy’s answer, but part of him needed a bit of reassurance that Arin wouldn’t abandon him, kicking him to the curb.

“If that’s what you want to call it, then yes. And that’s not a bad thing. But no one is going to push you into a label if you don’t want it.” Easing forward, Suzy placed a soft hand on his shoulder. “And if you think Arin’s going to hate you for choosing or not choosing to call what you guys have gay, then you need to stop worrying about that. You hear me?”

Dan nodded, running a hand over his chest and brushing past his scars. A sad smile spread across his face, “I’ll try not to worry about that.”

“But you’ll still worry about something.”

Dan reeled back, almost falling back out of his chair. After fumbling and a few panicked responses back and forth, Dan steadied himself, standing. If he wanted to talk to someone about this, he would ring Brian or go upstairs to Arin. But for the time being, he was happy to panic about this alone. “I can deal with it myself.” He quickly added, “But thank you,” like saying it would absolve him from the venom in his throat.

‘She knows.’

Dan marched over to the couch, covering himself in a blanket, and then another, and a third, until all the blankets were surrounding his thin frame. He was not going to cry over the possibility of Suzy knowing. If she did indeed know, then she was already accepting of it, or at the least, she didn’t bother asking about it. ‘She would have said something, right? Then she doesn’t know. And I can tell her when I’m ready.’

‘She’s going to tell Arin to leave you.’

Dan took a shaky breath, feeling tears building behind his eyes like water behind a dam. He had dealt with this bullshit a few weeks ago and it was not going to happen again. But Brian had whispered encouragements and nothings into his ear to calm him, to bring him back to the reality of the situation. Now was different. It wasn’t about Arin abandoning him as soon as he found out, but the aftermath of coming out.

‘Arin would have liked me better. The real us.’

“Shut up,” Dan hissed, feeling the tears slide down his face. Reaching up to tug a curl to ground himself, he continued in his hushed tone, “I am the real me. You’re just a stupid intrusive thought. You’re not real, and Arin likes me plenty.”

‘Do you really think he wouldn’t have gone for Sarah over you any day?’

Suzy saw Dan mumbling to himself, pulling at large chunks of his hair. He couldn’t handle it alone and she left to wake her husband. Maybe Arin could get him talking. She found him sitting up in bed, rubbing the place Dan had fallen asleep. “Hey, hon,” she spoke softly, but startled her husband anyway. “Dan’s just downstairs. And I’m a bit worried about him in all honesty. He’s acting a bit jumpy and muttering to himself.”

Arin could feel his stomach seize, threatening to spill whatever was in it. “I’ll be down in a minute,” he said, sliding out the bed and tugging on whatever was quickly available. He gave Suzy a soft kiss on the cheek before bounding down the stairs. He paused at the entrance to the living room, eyes wandering over the older man. Dan was surrounded in a thick layer of blankets, rocking slightly and tugging at his hair. Taking a deep breath, Arin started to unwrap his boyfriend, who had to be overheating.

Dan focused his eyes for the first time since he had placed the last blanket over his shoulders. Arin was pulling off the pressure that helped keep him grounded. As much as he wanted to, Dan couldn’t bring himself to fight it.

‘He wants you to leave. I mean, how could he stand you anymore?’

“Shut up,” Dan muttered, causing Arin to freeze.

Arin rubbed a hand over Dan’s face, cupping it. “Dan? Babe? Who are you talking to?”

Dan’s eyes snapped to Arin’s, his stomach twisting into knots. How was he supposed to explain that he had a voice that yelled at him about being transgender and how no one ever wanted to be near a trans person?

‘Now he’s certainly going to leave you.’

“Are you going to leave me?” Dan asked softly, his voice cracking.

Arin wiped away the tears that had started to fall. Sitting down next to the thinner man, he pulled him closer, “What makes you think I would?” Dan snuggled into the soft man, pulling him close. When Dan said nothing, Arin pressed a soft kiss on his temple. “I’m not going to leave you. I… If this about that thing over tea,” Arin said carefully, skirting the words he didn’t know if he should use. “Then I totally accept you and I’m not going to leave you over something silly like that.”

Dan gripped the shirt in his hands tighter, knowing he would wrinkle the fabric. “It’s not silly,” he mumbled into Arin’s neck. “It’s who I am and I… I’ll wear it proudly. I… If you aren’t willing to let me have this, let me be prideful of it in secret, then… I’ll leave.”

Arin wrapped his arms around Dan in response, holding him tight. He couldn’t even begin to guess what was going on in Dan’s head at the moment, but would make sure Dan knew he stood with him and wouldn’t even begin to think about leaving. They stayed wrapped in each other for a few minutes before Arin broke the peaceful silence. “You should move in.”

“Arin…” Dan trailed off. Well, that was going to be awkward to explain to Suzy. He rested his head against Arin, “I still have five months left in my lease. I can move in after that, okay?”

“I can wait. I mean, I waited just as long to fuck you.”

Dan pulled away, “And why do you think it took so long, huh?” He hated the venom in his voice, he could feel the intrusive thoughts cheering. “Sorry,” he muttered, feeling defeated. Dan didn’t want to hide anything anymore. “It’s just when you’re trans, you only get a couple of people willing to fuck you. The real you and not some fetishized bastardization of you. You… You would not believe how many people wanted to fuck me just for being trans. It’s a really disturbing amount.”

Arin buried his face in Dan’s neck, giving small kisses, “Well, I’ve wanted to fuck you before you came out and I still wanna fuck you, so am I in the okay territory?”

Dan laughed as Arin’s beard rubbed just under his chin, one of his weird ticklish spots. “Yeah, you’re in the okay territory.” Dan adjusted himself to bury his face in Arin’s soft hair, enjoying the scent that was purely Arin. “If I’m gonna live with you, I think Suzy should know.”

“Should know what?” a voice asked from behind them.

Dan looked up, catching Suzy in his line of sight. “That I’m moving in,” Dan said, looking back to Arin, “and that there is something else I should tell you.”

Sitting down gently on the coffee table in front of the pair, Suzy smiled. “You know you can tell me or Arin anything, right?”

Nodding, Dan slid out of Arin’s lap and pulled on a more serious tone. “Well, Arin already knows because we fucked and you know we fucked, but you don’t know how. I… I’ll spare you the details, but the part you need to know is that I’m trans.”

Suzy nodded once. “Okay. Trans guy or trans woman?”

“Uh… Trans guy. I… I don’t know how you’re so chill about this.”

Shrugging, Suzy let her mouth move for a moment before speaking, “Well, it’s just a thing some people are. Just like some people are gay or straight or bi. It’s not a big deal really. I mean, thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. I’m glad you trust me so much.”

Dan glanced back to Arin, “Well, I guess that works.”

“But seriously, give me a warning if you guys are gonna fuck here, because I don’t wanna walk in on you guys.”

Dan laughed along with Arin. “I think we can manage that.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> beta-ed by: [ skyhillian ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/skyhillian/pseuds/skyhillian)  
> my tumblr [ sumide1711uu ](http://sumide1711uu.tumblr.com/)


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